The following is an account of my experiences as a Tantric Priestess while working in nightclubs as a Stripper in LA. I channel the Goddess, Shakti, the Earth Mother, and embody all of Her as I dance. This is my story.
*All names have been changed slightly to protect others confidentiality.
I’ve had extreme moments of empowerment shining so bright, with dollars of love raining down on me from the sky. I’ve also had extreme moments of darkness, where I allowed substances to sneak into my routine and poured out my energy to help lost girls that were twirling black hole pain-body vortexes. I’ve danced for divine awakened men that don’t know where else to go to feel submerged in feminine energy. I’ve danced for the lost souls who just want to feel the illusion of love, through lust, and surprise them when I deliver authentic unconditional love. I’ve also danced for men in a deep slumber of autopilot who see me as a thing to be obtained, to be owned, and objectified. I’ve had experiences of bliss, empowerment, and delicious elation where my fire is shining so bright, I can barely sleep the next day. I’ve also been wrapped up in darkness, feeling lonely, used, and pulled into the poverty desperation vortex. Ultimately, I always return to my heart, my womb, and the guidance of the Divine Mother Goddess. I have pushed through my own darkness and weeded through the vampires to embrace a renewing sense of truth.
Moments of extreme contrast were common, where everyone around you is talking about the fight that happened backstage, who pulled whose hair, and joking about violence; meanwhile, your intuition guided you outside to read an article about the 7 gates of consciousness of the womb while the drama went down. Thank you, Goddess. The Goddess within guides me, because I trust she lives within me.
My journey began in January of 2016. I had just turned 25, and was juggling being a full-time college student, a part-time intern at a local municipal water district, and working 2 part-time jobs at Starbucks and smoothie place to make ends meet. I was a mother to a beautiful 3-year-old and had separated from my soon-to-be ex-husband who was deep in poverty. I had just moved into a new house with a rent higher then my scholarships and intern pay alone would cover… as living in Southern California by the beach is far from cheap. I was overworked and underpaid, pulling close to 80-hour weeks between school and my nearly minimum wage jobs. My daughter needed to be in pre-school, which wasn’t provided by the state until she was 4 years old, and I wanted to actually BE with her as much as possible instead of paying babysitters left and right. I was moving out of poverty consciousness. I knew I could rise above and embody the abundant Goddess that lived within.
My soul sister and best friend since high school had been dancing as a stripper in LA for years. Through dancing, she paid her way through college, made enough money to study overseas and obtain her Master’s Degree. I started asking questions, seeing stripping as a potential sparkly ladder out of the hole of exhaustion I had gotten myself into. She told me which clubs would be best to work at, and some pointers about what to wear, how to act, and I bought my first pair of 6-inch platform “Pleaser” heels. (The most comfortable heels I’ve ever worn, for the record) I practiced in the mirror for at least 2 weeks, and although I had never danced on a pole, I would fall back on my innate rhythm. I knew I would be different from the average stripper, not only for my intelligence and education but because of my experiences working with tantra, energy, and meditation for the past 6 years.
I decided to audition at a club called Xposed in Canoga Park. It was situated in the San Fernando Valley, and was not in the greatest neighborhood. The night of my audition I was nervous as hell. I did a grounding meditation in the car, and called in the love and light from Gaia, at the center of the Earth to shine through me. I wore an amulet of smoky quartz and citrine charged with the guidance from Grandmother Moon, to amplify the abundance I was seeking, and to protect me as I step into the darkness. I was still nervous as hell, but I was as ready as I’d ever be. I walked into the club entry lobby, and was greeted by a sweet bouncer, he chatted with me while I waited patiently for the manager to get me set for my audition. As I crossed the portal door into the club itself I was welcomed by a glass wall of a waterfall flowing down as a display, a beautiful reminder of the water spirits I worked so closely with during the day. As I began to get ready in my audition outfit, which consisted of a matching lace Victoria Secret bra and panties, my black patent leather platforms and a lace choker, I confided to other girls backstage that it was my first time, and I was nervous. One girl looked at me and said, “Girl, you’re already hired, it’s just a formality.” That eased my nerves immensely. I was surprised and relieved to receive such supportive sisterhood and understanding from these girls I had honestly expected to be “cold-hard-bitches.”
I auditioned, got hired immediately and started working on the spot. Something fierce came alive through me as I stepped through the curtain and walked on stage. I could barely see the faces in the dark crowd, just the spotlight as if Grandmother Moon was shining down on me. This connection with the moon is what inspired my stage name, and thus, Luna was born.
To be honest, it took a while to land my first dance. After all, it was a Tuesday night and the place was dead. I tried being friendly to other girls, and some were friendly back, even giving me advice and assuring me I looked great on stage. Others gave me dirty looks, and I just shrugged it off. The characters some girls would create for themselves were so fascinating to me. Blue wigs, lime green braids, bleach blonde hair glowing against dark chocolate skin, with breast and butt implants and covered in tattoos, girls larger then I would expect to be strippers, vivacious with curves like the Venus of Wilendorf, ancient goddesses of fertility without a clue of who they represent, just proud to be “Thick AF”. I watched others as they danced on stage, studied their moves and the way they worked the pole, inspired by the skill and beauty that other women could embody in such a dense environment. Although they could bend and twist and twirl like a firefly, if you looked close enough, their faces were usually glazed over, just doing the motions and using what this society has taught them has their value, their pussy.
And what I have learned is, it’s true. There is SO MUCH power in our pussy.
SO MUCH strength, vulnerability, magnetism, the ability to create and birth new life. It is the vortex of creation, unending pleasure that is the gateway to the divine.
However, many of these girls had this power structure turned upside down.
Men value the pussy, crave the pussy, strippers taunt them with it, covered in a glowing thong, waving it around in their face until they put down the cash, then they get to view the lips of desire. This little show can evoke anywhere from $3-$100 on average during a stage performance. Many of these strippers value their pussy BECAUSE the men value it, and use it to their own advantage, playing into the power plays of lust and deception. Old paradigms of ownership, objectification, and illusion were oozing at the seams. The honor and respect was long gone. The sacredness was forgotten. The trust and vulnerability was covered by a hardened shell.
I had a different approach. I honored myself and intentionally drew the sexual energy up into my heart for it to shine as bright as the lights above me. I embodied the Goddess. I was Shakti, Herself, incarnate. I knew these men just wanted communion with the Holy Spirit that lived within. They were hiding from themselves. I knew they were lonely, and wanted the Holy Priestess to remind them of the beauty of life, I knew that I was but a muse, a guide for them to touch Source, even if only for a moment through my gaze.
Though my experience working with Tantra, I knew I could pull the sexual energy up from my womb, into my heart, and expand it around me. That light not only radiated out as a beacon of Spirit, but it also protected me from dark intentions or projections of pain. I pulled in clients that were mesmerized and respected me as I respected myself, and the flow of Shakti that moved through me. I didn’t reveal what I was doing energetically to most of them, for their consciousness was not ready to understand the work that was taking place. There were a few, however, that were ready for downloads of sexual energy, tantra and how a Stripper could be a spiritual conduit of this energy. I was able to transmute dirty little secrets into healing sessions and shift society’s deep subconscious sexual wounds into something sacred when I stepped foot in the club.
I saw grown men turn into nervous little boys and helped them heal wounds they had with their mothers. I saw nervous little boys relax and grow into the men they were becoming. I saw business executives, basketball players, and popular musicians go from horny and hungry for more, to states of surrender. I witnessed them step into awe, and into honor. I was honored to be the gateway for the divine feminine to shine through and enter these lives. As I honored the flow of Her within me, I honored the flow of Her within them and was able to awaken a deep hidden reminder that I was but their own reflection of beauty. There truly was sacred transformative shadow work being done.
I am so grateful for the clients that honored, respected and listened to the wisdom that flowed through me. They helped me keep going. Being seen as the “Stripper Priestess” I was, fulfilled me in a way I didn’t know was possible in that environment. One client even called me the “Stripper Guru”, as we had deep discussions around psychedelics, psychological programming, chakras, crystals, nutrition, and more. Of course, there were clients that once they saw me in this new light, wanted to “save” me. The problem with that, as I didn’t need to be saved. I had reclaimed my power and was building the abundant life for myself and my daughter that I always wanted. I was working at the club 2-3 nights/week and making 3x more than I ever did working part-time. I was still going to school, still working at the Water District for my internship, and living a secret life at night. I loved having a secret power, holding my own sexiness sacred for only when Grandmother Moon came out to shine upon my head before I entered the spotlight.
By day, working in the blue collar for the water district. By night, transformed into a Tantric Stripper Priestess in heels and skin showing everywhere.
This light and high did not always last, as it never does. Grandmother Moon teaches us the waxing and waning, the push and pull of the tides as we ebb and flow in and out of different states of consciousness. As much as I wanted to be the candle in the darkness, bringing light to the shadow side of society, it wasn’t an easy candle to stay lit. Sometimes a draft would pick up, and my flame would be put out. I would feel the fear, the anxiety, the hunger that surrounded me. Sometimes it was overwhelming, and so I would go to the locker room, stick my headphones in and meditate. Girls would come ask me if I was ok, not knowing wtf I was up to. The looks were pretty hilarious when I’d tell them I’m just meditating. Not a typical response. I was ok being the weird ‘hippie’ girl.
This was the beginning of a chapter in my life of a new form of empowered feminine embodiment, healing, transformation, and growth. While it wasn’t always glamorous and love and light, there was a lot of darkness I had to sort through. There were a lot of lies and deception I had to see through. I had the owl watching over me most nights, helping me see through the veils of illusion. It was not easy. It was not always fun. There were times I didn’t want to be there, but I needed to make money for bills. There were times I didn’t want to give a nasty man a dance but I did anyway, trying to pull up that source of unconditional love for all beings, bad breath and all.
I am honored to share my story with you and will do so in segments, as there is so much to tell. This stage of my life was a pivotal time for me in stepping into my power not only as a Priestess, but as a performer, and as an energy worker. The life of contrast is something I’ve always loved, and now I embody it in new ways. I am no longer a Stripper Priestess, and I will tell the story of how that came to be in a later chapter. I am now guided by spirit to work with higher vibrational energies, as I have done a lot of legwork in the shadow realm, it is time for me to be of service to those with more awareness, more dedication to growth and operating at a higher frequency.
I hope that this account can inspire other strippers who are spiritual to take their practice into work with them.
We are all exactly where we need to be, doing exactly what we need to do.
To Be Continued…