All families have their own issues.
It’s unique to each lineage and chances are, the same patterns have been popping up generation after generation. Some have more severe cases with trauma and abuse, others have more subtle hints of manipulation, guilt, and control lurking in-between sentences. It can subconsciously arise out of your own mouth or through your actions with your spouse or children; or perhaps, the way we were treated could be reflected in our previous partners or current partner. We tend to(subconsciously) replicate or polarize the behaviors our parents programmed us with as children, and it’s totally natural.
This one is core. You can’t expect anyone in your family to change. After all these patterns may have been happening for hundreds of years. (Or more)
All you can do is alter the way you interact with others operating in these patterns, if you choose to engage with them at all. You must be willing to shine the light inward and see if you are perpetuating any of these patterns in your daily life
Where does it pop-up? Does it stay in the family or are others in your life filling roles that were created in your youth?
Can you take a step back and look at yourself… try to set your ego aside and be aware of your words and actions.
So you know what you don’t want. What does this wound teach you about what you DO want?
By ritualizing the release and redirection of these patterns, we can begin to integrate the lessons into our daily life. This will be most effective if done during a new moon, when intentionally releasing the old and beginning new cycles are most powerful.
You hold the keys.
Others can see things we can’t, especially when they are observers rather then players in dynamics. A close friend, spouse, life coach or therapist that supports you in your growth and can give you authentic input and constructive critiscism on your behavior, someone who can lovingly “call you out on your shit” and wants to help you integrate this healing into your life. This can amplify the awareness of subconscious behavior you may be participating in, which is the first step in growth.